You have an important appointment and need to look professional and presentable. A button up collared shirt is in order. You’ll examine it for any stains and iron it out to make sure there are no wrinkles, and then you’ll put it on and start buttoning it up. Halfway through you realize there’s a problem. You have a hole but no button for it. You have a useless shirt until you sew a replacement button back on. And who has time for that bullshit? You need another shirt and fast. Another scenario involving missing buttons is the Random Pop Off. Sometimes you’ll get home and realized that you lost a button at some point during the day. You’ll never know where or when it randomly popped off, and you’ll never know how many people saw your missing button and thought less of you for it. And you’re never going to find your button. Hopefully there’s no sentimental value because that thing is not coming back. It’s in the land of missing socks and misplaced keys now. Missing a button means that you either have fashion problems or emotional problems.
Critically Rated at 7/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young