Tag Archives: trouble

Getting Sent to the Principal’s Office

You’re ten years old and you’re goofing off in math class like always. Your teacher asks you to be quiet and sit down. You do for a minute, but then you forget what she said and you start talking again. Then your teacher tells you to shut up and keep your butt in the chair. You do for a minute, but then you throw a wad of paper at Jimmy. She sees you do it and she yells, warning you not to pull any more shenanigans or else she’ll send you to the principal’s office. But the word shenanigans gets you all excited and you try to get away with shooting Jimmy with a spitball, but you miss and hit Stacy. Stacy tells on you instantly and then your teacher screams at you to go to the principal’s office. That’s when you know that you’re in trouble. The trek to the principal’s office is the longest walk of your life. You feel like you’re walking towards the electric chair. Escape is impossible. You’re going to have to explain to him why you were disruptive and interrupting class. You could be suspended, or even worse, expelled. He might even call your mom. I used to get sent to the principal’s office fairly often. I wasn’t a bad kid, but I was a troublemaker. Who am I kidding? I’m still a troublemaker, only now there’s no principal to reprimand me anymore. Instead I only have to worry about the cops if I do something bad. At least they won’t call my mom.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Dog That Knows It’s in Trouble

Growing up, my family had three dogs. Every once in a while we would come home and discover that one of them had left a present on the living room carpet. And by present, I mean shit. It was always easy to determine which one of the dogs pooped on the floor. It was always the one cowering behind the furniture with a guilty look on its face. There’s no mistaking a dog that knows it’s in trouble. His ears are lowered, his tail is tucked between his legs, and he won’t make eye contact. And you would be furious if it wasn’t so adorable. That dopey look of shamed embarrassment will melt your heart every time. Humans might pretend that they are in charge, but dogs have us well trained.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Muttering Under Your Breath

Muttering under your breath is a great way to insult someone without getting in trouble. It’s a great option for kids who want to talk back to their parents without getting grounded or for telling your boss off without losing your job. Once you master muttering under your breath, you can get the last word in any argument, thereby winning the argument.

            The most important thing about muttering under your breath is to make sure that you’re loud enough so that the people around you can hear what you said and realize how clever you are, but you can’t be too loud or the guy you’re insulting will punch you in the mouth. It’s a fine line. Experiment with your muttering and what you mutter until you find what works for you. Practice makes perfect.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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