Tag Archives: spasm

Hypnic Jerk

Sometimes when I’m really tired and lying in bed, seconds away drifting off to sleep, I’ll have a sudden twitch that wakes me up again. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but it’s annoying because I was right about to fall asleep and now I’m back at square one. So I had a sleep twitch the other night and it woke me up enough to inspire me to write a Critically Rated article about it. I Googled “sleep twitch” to do some research and found out that it’s a perfectly natural and common occurrence that can be caused by stress, anxiety, exercise, and caffeine, but sometimes they just happen for no reason. The technical name for it is Hypnic Jerk, which I think is awesome. It sounds like an insult or a shitty punk band. Hypnic jerks keep you awake, and you get stressed because you can’t sleep, and stress causes you to have more hypnic jerks. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m pretty sure that’s where the expression “circle jerk” comes from.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

hypnotic-jerk

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Eye Twitch

An eye twitch is an involuntary spasm of the eyelid. It’s caused by stress, fatigue, caffeine, or small bugs burrowing into your eyeball. It’s not that noticeable but it’s definitely annoying. It normally goes away after a few days, but it’s been known to plague people for a lifetime. My eye has been twitching for a few days now. I would say that it’s stress, but my life is pretty stress-free. The only thing I’m stressed about is this fucking eye twitch. And the more it twitches, the more stressed I get. It’s a vicious cycle. So if I’m talking to you and you think I’m winking at you, don’t flatter yourself. It’s just a small bug burrowing into my eye causing my eye to spasm at inopportune times. I really don’t like you. It’s eye bugs. I swear.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Charley Horse

If you’re in middle school, a charley horse is when you punch someone else in the thigh so hard that they can’t walk for a few minutes. If you’re grown up and somewhat mature, a charley horse is when you have muscle cramps or spasms in your legs. They fucking suck. It’s just a sudden explosion of pain as your muscles seize up and constrict uncontrollably. You can’t walk, you can’t think, all you can do is cry and wait for the sensation to pass. Consider your lazy ass lucky if you’ve never experienced one. You don’t get them from sitting on your ass, you get them from a physical activity. It’s a downside to being active and enjoying life. Sometimes when you run around, your leg will cramp up (especially if you don’t stretch first). Just remember that pain is good and that you earned that pain.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants