Tag Archives: pathetic

Twelve Girls, Twelve No’s

There was a kid in my class who once called up and asked out twelve girls on the same night. They all said no. It was seventh or eighth grade and there were only forty kids in my entire class. Obviously it was the hot topic of discussion for a whole week. Twelve girls, twelve no’s. We all talked about it, laughed about it, talked shit about him, and insulted him to his face. We let him know that we knew all about his failed love life. Pathetic. We called him pathetic. We thought it was. Now I know that it was anything but. Getting rejected sucks. It hurts when you ask someone out and they say no. It might take a while to get over it. He heard no after no after no. He could have licked his wounds, but he kept on going and trying. He kept getting rejected but he kept on asking. I don’t know how hard that must have been. It wasn’t pathetic. It was anything but. I wish that I knew that back then.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young


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Filed under People I Feel Sorry For

The Instant Response

Very few things are more pathetic than the instant response. That’s when you respond to a text, email, phone call, Facebook post, tweet, etc. right away and it’s totally obvious that you were waiting to do so. It doesn’t impress anyone, especially the one you’re trying to impress. You have to delay your response, you gotta slow things down a little bit, you need to take your time. Cool your jets, deploy the parachute, tap the brakes. Think it through and think it out. Don’t jump, don’t pounce, definitely don’t tackle. I don’t know how else to say it, so just don’t do it. I’m talking about the internet-related instant response only. The person-to-person/comedic improvisational instant response is not only acceptable, but welcome at any time. The world always needs a laugh.
Critically Rated at 7/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young


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Filed under Random Rants