Tag Archives: missing

Finding Something That You Didn’t Know Was Lost

I was sitting in my room and accidently dropped some change on the floor. I got down on the ground to scoop them up and checked under the couch for any stray quarters. I didn’t find any more coins, but I did find my portable speakers. That was pretty awesome, especially since I didn’t know that they were even missing. Finding something that you didn’t know was lost is like finding twenty bucks in your pocket. You didn’t know that you forgot about it until it’s back in your hand. You feel like you won at life, like you got something for nothing. But you really just got a reminder that you’re irresponsible and don’t deserve it because you didn’t know it was gone. You should feel bad, instead you’re happy you got your shit back.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

The Girl That Doesn’t Deserve a Cell Phone

Everyone has a friend that constantly loses or breaks their phone. Not to be sexist, but it’s usually a girl. Everyone knows the girl that doesn’t deserve a cell phone. She has a habit of randomly dropping it for no reason. She leaves it in cabs and bars and restaurants. She has to replace her broken or missing phones every three and half weeks. She goes through more phones than cell phone bills. She always gets the latest model and it always makes your phone look like a piece of shit, until she drops it and cracks the screen when she’s showing it off. The girl that doesn’t deserve a cell phone always has a new one. Don’t let her borrow your phone and don’t let her hold your baby.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under People I Feel Sorry For