Tag Archives: middle finger

Flipping the Bird

Flipping the bird is when you extend your middle finger to someone. It’s a way of saying “FUCK YOU!” without using your voice. Most cases of road rage involve somebody flipping someone else off. You’ll get cut off and have no other way of expressing your anger than by flipping that motherfucker off. Then they flip you off and swerve into your lane and shit starts to escalate. Who knew that a simple hand gesture could lead to so much devastation? Remember that it’s flipping the bird. Some people say flicking the bird or that they flicked you off. Those people deserve to be flipped off. They don’t realize that flick doesn’t make any sense in that scenario. You’re insulting somebody, not trying to get rid of a booger. Get it right or don’t do it.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Paper Towels

Americans like to buy things just to throw them away. We love paper plate and plastic cutlery because throwing that shit away is easier than cleaning up. Take paper towels for example. They are handy for wiping up spills and cleaning around the house. They are like napkins and cleaning rags combined into one inferior product and they come on an elongated toilet paper roll. It’s the ultimate middle finger to the environment. None only am I going to chop down this tree, I’m going to make sure that the end product can only be used once before it’s tossed away. And we wonder how global warming became a problem. But I’m fucking lazy and a hypocrite and I have a few rolls of Bounty in the cabinet, so who am I to judge?

Critically Rated at 8/17

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