Tag Archives: mess

Pouring a Soda On a Seat

            I live in San Francisco and I see something crazy every time I leave the house. The other day I was on the train heading to work and I saw a thuggish-looking guy on the row of seats across from where I was sitting. He was eating some fast food and sipping on a soda. I’m guessing he didn’t like his soda choice too much, because I saw him take off the lid and dump the entire soda onto the seat next to him. I couldn’t help but glance at the guy. He saw me look at him. He flicked his straw at me and it landed near my feet. He smirked at me, I went back to looking at my phone, and then he got up and hopped off the bus at the next stop. I can only assume that he was trying to frame me for the mess he made. I’ve seen a lot of crazy people doing crazy things, but pouring a soda on a seat was a new one. I don’t know why he did it. There doesn’t seem to be any logical reason for it. He could have thrown the soda into the trash. He could have poured it on the ground. Instead he poured it onto a seat. There’s no method to his mayhem.

            Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cleaning Up After a Party

My favorite type of party is a house party. It’s more casual, it’s more comfortable, and it’s usually more fun than going to the bar (not to mention way cheaper). A few people cook or bring food, most people bring booze, and everyone gets hammered. You laugh and eat and drink and have a good time. But time has a way of slogging on and soon the party will be over, everyone will go home and you will be left with a mess. The best way to handle cleaning up after a party is to acknowledge that your house is trashed and you are too. Then you drink another beer and deal with it in the morning. You have to break down the job into smaller tasks. Gather up all the bottles and cans first, then go around with a garbage bag and get all the random trash and used condoms off the ground (it’s not a party without a used condom), do the dishes, move the furniture back into place, then you can wipe down the counters and spray everything with Lysol. Throwing a party is fun, cleaning up after is a bitch. But at least you get to keep all the extra beers that everyone left behind.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants