Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a guy named Roy Sullivan. Roy Sullivan loved nature. He was a park ranger. Nature didn’t love him back. Nature had a habit of throwing lightening bolts at him. Between 1942 and 1977 Sullivan was struck by lightning seven fucking times.
Sullivan was never much of a superstitious man until 1972 when he got struck for the fourth time. Then he started to get paranoid that nature had a vendetta against him and started carrying water with him in case his hair caught on fire after a lightning strike. He got to use that emergency water three more times. Right after his seventh and final strike he was attacked by a bear. Lucky guy.
Nature finally won its battle against Sullivan on September 28, 1983 when he died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound to the head. I know that suicide isn’t funny, but that deserves a bit of a chuckle.
Critically Rated at 10/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young