Tag Archives: let me correct you

Things You Say Wrong

My mom’s an English teacher and I’m an asshole, so I’m a grammar nazi. I’m also hip to technology, and so I’m on the Facebook. When I go on Facebook and see that your day was better than mine and you spelled something wrong, it’s only natural that I will correct you. It makes me feel better about myself.

If you’ve ever called someone and told them their refrigerator was running, and that they should go catch it, you just did a “crank call”, not a “prank call”. Yes, it was a prank, but it was a crank call.

If you ever said, “I should of” done something, you should’ve paid attention in school. You would’ve gotten better grades if you realized that “could have” is abbreviated to “could’ve”, which sounds like “could of”. But one of them makes sense, and one of them makes you seem retarded.

“Your” is possessive. “You’re” means “you are”. If you say “Your dumb”, it means that you’re dumb.

When you shower you are “buck naked”, not “butt naked”. I don’t know why, but that’s just what it is. I don’t make the rules: I just point them out and try to make you feel stupid.

Sticking your middle finger up is “flipping” people off, not “flicking” them off. You are flipping the bird, not flicking off a booger.

While I’m on the subject of shit you say wrong, let me address the fact that it is 2012. Almost everyone has a smart phone. With a full keyboard. So there is no need to be typing like a 6th grader in an AOL chat room. You aren’t saving that much time by writing out “C U 2 @ 8 tom”. It just makes you seem dumb and lazy. It’s time to grow up. Would you respect a lawyer or a doctor who can’t or won’t spell a three-letter word?

Everyone uses computers. We have spelling and grammar corrected automatically. And people still suck at the basics. It’s pathetic. The world thinks Americans are dumb, and when I go on Facebook and see these pathetically monkey-typed statuses I can’t blame them for thinking that.

I really hoped that I fucked up multiple times writing this article. Then you could point out more mistakes from another dumb American.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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