Tag Archives: gas

Whoopee Cushion

A whoopee cushion is one of the first novelty gifts that you get as a kid. It makes fart noises and fart noises are funny. The traditional way to use one is to blow it up, then you get somebody to sit on it without realizing it’s there, it sounds like he farted, and then everyone laughs at him. Then he demands the whoopee cushion so that he can get somebody else, and the cycle continues.  They are really immature, but so am I, and I brought one to work the other day. Most of the dudes that I work with appreciated it, but I was surprised that it was the girls who wanted to play with it the most. Maybe it’s because they can’t fart in public. Guys fart all the time and we’re proud of our gas. Girls are embarrassed and try to hide their flatulence. But everyone thinks farts are funny, even if they don’t admit it. A whoopee cushion is great because you get the obnoxious sound without the noxious fumes.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Entertainment

Shart

Everyone experiences gas; it’s nothing to be embarrassed of. But sometimes you want to suppress your flatulence and that’s when bad things happen. You’ll try to be discrete and let one silently slip out but a little something else escapes. You have just experienced a shart. It’s a fart with a little extra cheese. The first thing to do after you shart is to assess the damage. Carefully shuffle to the bathroom and check for stains and/or nuggets. Stains are manageable, but nuggets (haha, butt nuggets) mean you pooped yourself and need a new pair of pants. You’d rather shart than shit yourself, neither is particularly fun though.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants