Tag Archives: french fries

An Onion Ring Hiding in Your Fries

It’s late at night and you’re in the mood to eat shitty food and so you go to Burger King or maybe Jack in the Box and hit up the drive-through. You order a regular value meal because you’re too cheap to upgrade. You pay, you get your food, and you get on your way. As you start scarfing down your burger, you grab a handful of fries to shove in your mouth, but something doesn’t feel right. You look down at your handful of fries and see a golden deep-fried object. It’s an onion ring hiding in your fries. It’s like a fast food prize for adults. You didn’t pay for that o-ring, but it’s there and you’re going to eat it because you’re only human and it’s delicious. You have to be thankful for the little things in life, and that’s one of the better little things.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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A Burger Joint That Runs Out of Fries

I know that people aren’t perfect and that sometimes they make mistakes. And I know that people run burger joints because we don’t have robots technologically advanced enough to run burger joints. And so if those people that run the burger joint make a mistake I can understand it. But not if they run out of fries. French fries are a staple of burger joints. A burger without fries is like wearing a shoe without a sock; you can do it, it’s just wrong and it feels weird. I’ve noticed that burger joints never run out of buns or patties either. Just fries. A burger joint without fries is like a Chinese restaurant without rice. Why are you even open?

Critically Rated at 3/17

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The Biggest French Fry

You are hungry and broke. Only a few places will accept five bucks and give you a meal in return. McDonald’s is one of those places. You order a value meal, which comes with a drink, a burger/sandwich, and French fries. The burger/sandwich is mediocre and the soda is flat and pathetic. But the fries are usually always decent. And there is always one big French fry. It stands out. The one big fry that came from a mutant potato that’s bigger than your head. It is a sign of freedom, of being an American and feeling like you are entitled to the world. I hope everyone can experience the biggest French fry.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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