Tag Archives: five second rule

Dropping Your Food Before You Take a Bite

Nobody is perfect. And nothing is a greater reminder of that like dropping your food before you even take a bite. That sucks. It’s infuriating. It’s always something delicious or something you’ve been craving for a while too. You get it at the store and you’re all excited for your taste buds. You prepare it, get it all ready, get yourself comfortable and situated… Just as you are about to sample that first savory bite, your clumsy ass drops it on the floor. You stare in sullen disbelief, not even the five second rule can redeem this fuck up. You have failed and you know it. I really wanted that string cheese too.

Critically Rated at 4/17

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Filed under Snacks

Five Second Rule

Over the history of mankind, there are a few inventions that stand out: the wheel, the light bulb, the personal computer… none are as important as the Five Second Rule. If you drop something on the floor and recover it within five seconds, no harm no foul. Germs, bacteria and other contaminates can’t do any damage if you’re fast enough. Scientists still have no idea why. Even Bill Nye is stumped. The best part about the Five Second Rule is that if you aren’t fast enough, you can always resort to the Ten Second Rule. There are starving kids in China, you shouldn’t waste anything.

Critically Rated at 11/17

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Filed under Random Rants