Tag Archives: crunchy

Nerds (candy)

Nerds are a tiny, tangy crunchy candy made by the Willy Wonka Candy Company. They aren’t made by the real Willy Wonka; he’s a made-up literary character. They are made by the fake Willy Wonka; they are candy company created by business moguls to exploit the literary character. Nerds typically come in a cardboard box with a divider separating two different flavors. But they also make small individual-size boxes with only one flavor for Halloween, Valentine’s Day, etc. They also have a big box of Rainbow Nerds that are movie theater-size. The big box of Rainbow Nerds is the best because it has the biggest Nerds. Some can be as big as a pea. That’s a big nerd. That might not seem very impressive, but I’m easily impressed. Nerds are probably my favorite Wonka candy on the market. They are fruity, sour, crunchy, and fun to eat. Plus they have a great name. You can offer them out and insult someone at the same time. It’s hard to beat that.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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CornNuts

CornNuts are a crunchy corn snack made from roasted or deep-fried corn kernels. They are fucking tasty too. If you’ve never had them before, it’s recommended that you go with the Original flavor. Corn is good for you. It’s a vegetable, and veggies are healthy. So if you eat cooked and salted corn kernels, you’re doing your body a favor. As far as junk food and snacks go, this is one of the better options. You can’t eat them all the time, and I’m not sure why you’d want to, but CornNuts are all right by me. They really aren’t healthy for you; I’m not advocating a CornNut diet. But they taste good, and that’s good enough.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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