Tag Archives: cookie monster

Girl Scout Cookies

Girl Scout Cookies are cookies that Girl Scouts sell. They only sell them a few times each year, so people freak out when its Girl Scout Cookie time. Seriously, grown ass adults go all Cookie Monster when they see a box of Do-si-dos. They will run up to you and ask you where and when you got them. Then they will track down that Girl Scout troop and buy as many boxes as they can carry, then they will come back for more. People stockpile Girl Scout Cookies. They will buy multiple boxes of multiple flavors and hoard them in the cupboard.

There are a few different flavors and varieties of Girl Scout Cookies. But the only ones worth buying are Do-si-dos, Tagalongs, Samoas, and Thin Mints. Thin Mints are the best ones. There is no argument. They are the most popular, the number one seller. And they get even better when you put them in the freezer. It’s all about frozen Thin Mints straight from the freezer. Game over. They taste so good that you get mad those bitches don’t sell them year round.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks

A Fat Girl in a Cookie Monster Shirt

The other day I saw a chubby girl walking down the street with her mom. She looked like she was about 8 or 9 years old and she was wearing a blue shirt. I didn’t think much of it until they got closer and I realized that she was wearing a Cookie Monster T-shirt. That probably wasn’t a good wardrobe choice for a chubster. A fat girl in a Cookie Monster shirt is kind of sad. I blame her parents for getting her fat and getting her that shirt. I bet they got it for her birthday.

Her Mom: “What should we get for Kelly’s birthday?”

Her Dad: “I don’t know. She likes cookies.”

Her Mom: “Perfect, let’s get her some cookies and a Cookie Monster shirt.”

Her Dad: “Great idea, honey.”

Everyone Else: “I think she’s a cookie monster.”

If you wonder why the rest of the world hates Americans, it probably has something to do with fat kids wearing T-shirts that celebrate their obesity.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under People I Feel Sorry For