Tag Archives: combover

Comb Over

A comb over is a hairstyle for bald/balding men who are either in denial about being bald or who have no shame. Whatever remaining hair on the head is grown long and then combed over the bald spot in a feeble attempt to hide the bald spot. I was having an intense bar conversation outside my favorite pub the other day. I was in the middle of proving my point when a newcomer walked into the bar with the most stunning comb over I’ve ever seen. It was beyond majestic. I completely lost my train of thought. I’m pretty sure my jaw actually dropped. To top it off, it was a breezy day so it waved in the wind as he entered. It was glorious. Words truly can’t describe how epic his comb over was. You could tell he took time to groom himself. Comb overs like that take a while to perfect. He was a professional. It was immaculate. It was just the right amount of wispy hair stretched over a perfectly polished scalp. I wish I took a picture but I was in shock. All I could do was stare. It was incredible. Seriously. I want you to know this.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

combover-17

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Filed under Random Rants

Balding

Hey buddy, you’re balding. Accept it. Shave your head and free yourself of the follicles that betrayed you. Combovers aren’t hiding anything. Growing your remaining hair long to make up for your shiny dome is a lost cause. Stevie Wonder’s head is a punchline. I’m glad he can’t see this. There is nothing more pathetic than someone clinging to the few precious mammal strands on their head. They style it, they dye it, and they know each one by name. No matter what you do, it looks bad. Just let it go. It’s better to be accepted than laughed at. Bald heads are badass. Michael Jordan. Jason Statham. Jason Alexander. I rest my case.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under People I Feel Sorry For