I came home kind of late the other night and I was kind of tipsy. I needed food. I didn’t think that I had any. I checked the freezer just to be sure. I found a half-empty box of Bagel Bites. I was beyond stoked. I let out a cheer and did a victory dance. Finding forgotten food in the freezer is like hitting the late night munchie jackpot. A minute earlier and my stomach was growling and I was desperate for food. A minute later and I suddenly had five little bagel pizzas to scarf down. I popped that shit in the oven, because fuck the microwave. If you’re going to eat Bagel Bites, you have to do it right. Microwaving them leaves them soggy and bland. Baking them in the oven makes them crispy and delicious. They go great with a cold soda or a can of PBR. I didn’t mean for this post to turn into a commercial for Bagel Bites. These things write themselves, I just go along with it. There’s no denying that when pizza is on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young