Arachnophobia is a fear of spiders. It’s also a movie starring Jeff Daniels and John Goodman. The movie is so-so. The fear is far more interesting. Spiders are among the creepiest of crawlies, so it’s only natural to harbor a passionate hatred for them. Spiders walk along walls and cling to ceilings. They spin webs, have pincers, and inject humans with venom. They stalk you in the night and they can sense fear. They seem innocent enough but you just can’t trust them. Some people have tarantulas as pets and I don’t know why. They aren’t real pets. They can’t be domesticated. Cats can’t even be domesticated, but for some reason some jackoffs think that they can tame an arachnid. Spiders should be squashed, not celebrated.
Critically Rated at 5/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young