You’re relaxing in the break room and your coworker comes in, sits down, and starts eating her homemade lunch. She pulls out a wilted sandwich that looks like it has been sitting out a little too long. She opens her mouth, takes a bite, starts chewing slowly and carefully, and swallows it with a slight grimace. Then she looks at you and asks, “This tastes bad, try it.”
“No,” you say, “Fuck no, in fact.” And who can blame you? That sandwich looked gross from the get-go. Then you saw her reaction as she was eating it. And then she confirmed it by saying that it tasted bad. Why would you possibly want to try it? And why would she even offer you a disgusting sandwich? That’s not very nice. That’s not how you share. You should share good things, things that other people would enjoy. Not bad or weird tasting things. Maybe she wants you to suffer with her. She wants you to experience the same terrible things that she has. She wants you to feel her pain. Just say no. Whatever you do, don’t take a bite.
Critically Rated at 6/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young