Your tongue lives in your mouth fulltime. You eat and drink and talk all the fucking time without biting your tongue. But every few years you will randomly bite your tongue. It’s a horrible feeling when your hard tooth punctures your soft tongue. It hurts like a motherfucker, you’ll see stars, blood will start gushing, and you wont be able to do anything but whimper and groan. You always feel the need to share the fact that you just bit your tongue with the people around you. They don’t care, but they will pretend to sympathize with you. Biting your tongue is a stupid inevitability. You can’t avoid it. Everyone will be the idiot who bit his tongue at some point in their lives. Hopefully you won’t bite it all the way off like my friend did the other night (totally worth it though).
Critically Rated at 6/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
criticallyrated 