So my friend stole my face wash. I don’t mean that he borrowed a little bit each day until it was gone. I mean that he fucking took the whole tube out of my medicine cabinet in one fell swoop. Who the fuck does that? Are you really that desperate for a facial cleanse that you’re willing to steal? That’s pathetically low. It’s damn near rock bottom. I can forgive somebody stealing from me for a heroin fix, but smooth skin and exfoliated pores hardly seems worthy of jeopardizing your reputation. There’s no reason and there’s no excuse for bullshit like that, so don’t bother explaining yourself. All you had to do was ask. Instead you decided to steal it and reveal your true colors. Now I’m going to suspect you whenever something goes missing. I hope it was worth it.
Critically Rated at 3/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young