I’ve been in the service industry for a few years now and I would always joke about someone ordering a diet soda with grenadine. It was never serious, it was just a hypothetical situation in which a fictional moron would order a sugar-free soda and add cherry flavored sugar to it. It’s the kind of thing that George Carlin would make a punchline out of, like getting a veggie burger with bacon on it. It’s why you don’t pour Red Bull in a decaf coffee.

And then one day a guy ordered a Diet Coke with grenadine. He was serious. My first instinct was to talk him out of it. But he insisted. If I have to contribute to somebody’s diabetes for a 20% tip then so be it. He even had refills. That was the day I lost all faith in humanity and he didn’t see anything wrong with it. No wonder people hate Americans.
Critically Rated at 1/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young