Monthly Archives: January 2012

Blunts

Blunts are like marijuana cigars. You roll the weed and wrap it in a gutted cigar or with a prepackaged blunt wrap. Probably the best way to get a group of people high before a movie or at a party. Also great if you have bammer weed. They can be harsh because you inhale directly. It wastes your weed if you smoke them all the time. You have to use around a gram or more for a decent blunt, and if you have a high quality strain you can’t enjoy the flavor and nuances of the plant.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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The Simpsons

The longest running animated show is a staple of television. I grew up on this show. I’ve watched the Simpsons when there were still on the Tracy Ullman Show. I watched them loyally every week in elementary school, middle school, high school, college and beyond. I remember when the show went from Thursday night to Sunday night. Thanks to syndication, DVRs, and the internet I have seen every single episode.

This is really dense show. It rewards the loyal viewer with tons of inside jokes and references to earlier events. Over 23+ seasons means the writers have explored the family’s dynamics extensively, and they’ve started writing about hundreds of other Springfield residents and their adventures with the Simpsons. There have been hundreds of guest stars too. There are thousands of characters in this extensive universe, each of them crazy, zany and memorable.

Seasons 5-8 were the best years with the best episodes. Lots of episodes with heart and humor and great writing. The quality declined for a few years, but each episode was still funny and had a few truly laugh-out-loud moments. In recent years, the show has been produced in HD, and with that upgrade it seems like the show has caught it second (or even third or fourth) wind.  The animation is now truly pleasant to look at, very rich and dense (yet still cartoony) artwork. The writing and jokes have gotten a little sharper too.

There is no real continuity to the show. There are no real ongoing story arcs. Each episode pretty much stands alone, and so you can watch an episode from season 4 and another from season 22 and not get confused. That is not set in stone though. Lisa is still a vegetarian and Maude Flanders is still dead, so there is a little continuity. But each time there is a birthday, they stay the same age; each time they go back to school they reenter the same grade; each lesson Homer learns he forgets by the time next week’s episode airs.

I can’t imagine TV without the Simpsons. No other show can jump the shark 3 times a season and still hold my attention and respect.  A bad episode is still better than 97% of the shit on TV these days.

Critically Rated at 15/17.

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Futurama

Matt Groening’s second animated primetime series was ahead of its time, pun intended. It is set in the futuristic city of New New York, where a displaced delivery boy from 1999 finds himself a thousand years in the future. He finds a job and some friends and tries to adjust to a new life with his new best friend. His best friend is a robot.

It is a much more complex and dynamic show than the Simpsons.  The Simpsons was conceived in the waiting room before a meeting with TV execs. Futurama was planned out in advance. You can tell that the writers were all sci-fi geeks and the delighted in planning out arcs and storylines that would span over seasons. This is a zany, hysterically funny cartoon, but it has real continuity making it necessary to watch the show in order. With the Simpsons you can watch an episode from season 23, and one from season 5 and then one from season 17 and it wouldn’t matter.  Futurama’s pilot episode has references to events that occur in the fourth season. In the fucking animatics of the pilot you can see Nibbler’s shadow, and finally in the tenth episode of the fourth season you find out why. That is incredible. There is even another reference to the previous Planet Express crew dying because of space wasps, and in the 12th episode of the 4th season the current crew discovers their bodies in a giant space hive.

The cast of characters is microscopic compared to the thousands of Simpsons characters. Futurama focuses on Fry, Leela and Bender. The main supporting characters are Prof. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Amy Wong, and Hermes. Than there are more supporting characters who only appear every couple of episodes like Zapp Brannigan and Kif, and Mom and her sons/henchmen.  Of course there’s a lot more I’m neglecting like Nibbler, Scruffy, Robot Santa,  and others, but Futurama stays focused on the main characters and they don’t need to have background characters having their own episodes like in the Simpsons.

The stories and plot lines were always funny, but sometimes they were so complex and heartfelt it transcends television. Jurassic Bark had a great premise: Fry finds his old dog’s body and plans to use technology to bring him back. Before he does he realizes that Seymour lived 12 years without him, and assumes that he had gotten a new owner and forgotten about him. Fry decides not to revive him, “I had Seymour until he was three. That’s when I knew him, and that’s when I loved him. I’ll never forget him. But he forgot me a long time ago.” It then cuts to a flashback of a lonely and loyal Seymour waiting patiently for Fry to return as the years pass until he finally lays down and dies.  It is the most emotional ending to a TV show, animated or live action, drama or comedy that I have ever seen. Other great plot lines involve space, time travel, time paradoxes, parallel universes, the existence of God, and the nature of reality. They also have episodes about more zany things like Bender becoming a folk singer (which is another reoccurring gag).

Fox likes to produce amazing works of sci-fi television like Firefly and Futurama, but they don’t often realize what they have created. They treated Futurama like shit, they gave it a shitty timeslot and hardly promoted it. Thank god for Adult Swim and later Comedy Central for saving Futurama and bringing it back to TV. Great show, definitely the best comedic sci-fi show ever.

Critically Rated at 16/17.

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