Tag Archives: stereo

Stereo in a Hearse

I was walking downtown yesterday and passed by a funeral home. There was a hearse pulling up to it. I didn’t wonder if there was a body inside. I wondered if the driver had any music to listen to. I don’t know how most funeral homes work, but I assume the driver isn’t always carrying deceased cargo. It’s not always a solemn occasion. Sometimes he’s just driving. And driving is always better with some tunes. I truly hope that there is a stereo in a hearse. I’m not being morbid. I’d want my last ride to be accompanied by music instead of silence.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Blasting Music On the Bus

I jumped on the bus yesterday hoping for a quick and quiet ride, but instead there was some jagoff blasting shitty rap music from his shitty boom box. Well, it wasn’t a shitty boom box because the music was loud as fuck and the bass was powerful enough to rattle the windows. All the other passengers on the bus were getting annoyed, one guy was pissed enough to tell the jagoff to turn off his music. The jagoff responded by turning his music up even louder. That didn’t sit well with the other passengers and people started yelling at him to turn it off. Things were escalating pretty quickly and it looked like things might start turning violent. Then the bus driver pulled over to the side of the road (not even at a bus stop), stopped the engine, and walked down the aisle towards the jagoff. The driver was a big intimidating black guy, and he put his finger right in the jagoff’s face and said, “Nobody wants to hear your shitty music. Turn it off now or get the fuck off my bus.” The jagoff instantly switched off his boom box and kept his head down in shame and embarrassment. He got off the bus two stops later. He knew that he was defeated. I can only assume that he jumped on the next bus so he could piss off another bunch of passengers. Blasting music on the bus is a great way to make enemies. You’ll never make a new friend by being an asshole. Unless they have the same taste in shitty music.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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