Muni is the nickname for the San Francisco Municipal Railway, the public transportation system for San Francisco. It sucks. It can’t run on time. They say your train is three minutes away, two minutes away, a minute away, arriving… but then there’s no train and then it says its coming in three minutes, two minutes, a minute, arriving, and then that one disappears too. That’s not bad service. That’s fucking lying. You said the train was coming and it didn’t. It’s like that friend who said he would give you a ride to work and then he doesn’t show up when he said he would, so you call him and he says that he’s five minutes away. Five minutes come and go and so you call him so see how far away he is, and he tells you he’ll be there in five minutes. And those five minutes comes and goes, and then another five minutes, and you call him again and he says that he’s four minutes away. And you don’t believe him, but you have to wait for him because he’s your ride. Muni is that asshole friend that has no concept of time.
Wikipedia says that Muni is the 7th largest fleet in the US and is dead last in commute time. That’s not something to be proud of. When your average speed is only 8.1 mph and the city you serve is only 7 miles by 7 miles, you’ve pretty much failed. Muni sucks because it is unreliable and it treats their customers like they are scum. One time I missed the last bus to my house but they refused to give me back my two dollars. They can’t just refund your money; you have to fill out paper work. That’s the exact opposite of customer service. If you pay for a service and they don’t deliver, you shouldn’t have to pay. Muni is like a vampire, it will suck you dry. First they take your soul, then they take your money. The best way to fix Muni? Make the people that run it have to rely on it. Then marvel as the shit finally runs on time.
Critically Rated at 5/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young