I came home the other day and noticed that there were seven flies buzzing around my kitchen. They were bumbling and bumping into the window, desperately trying to find a way out. I took it upon myself to give them a way out, and I’m not talking about opening a window. I looked around for an old newspaper or magazine to roll up, and then my roommate’s brand new DustBuster caught my eye. Basic math will tell you that a DustBuster + Household Pests = Sucking Up Houseflies. It’s just as fast as swatting them with a newspaper and it won’t leave fly corpses on the floor or any blood smears on the wall. I can’t quite call it humane, but it’s less violent and that’s gotta be worth something. The DustBuster is bagless, so those fuckers are just chilling in the tank, trapped like prisoners in an inescapable cell. Let this be a warning to all the other flies, bugs, spiders, and pests in the world. Don’t fuck with me or I’ll DustBust your ass too.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
criticallyrated 