Tag Archives: balls

Ball Soup

It’s a hot day, you’re running around, and you’re wearing jeans. You just inadvertently made a big batch of ball soup. Ball soup is as disgusting as it sounds. The main ingredients include your scrotum and sweat, with copious amounts of body odor thrown in. It’s pretty nasty and gets pretty rank. Ball soup is not something you want to see on the menu. It’s the main reason I avoid whitey tighties. Catching a whiff of ball soup will make you swear off the gym forever. They should invent a deodorant for down there. They should call it Scrote and it should be cedar-scented, a slightly musky scent that’s not overbearing. I’ve thought about this too much. Let’s end by saying that ball soup is gross.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Turtle Tap

A turtle tap is when someone lightly slaps your junk, usually while you’re wearing pants but naked turtle taps have been known to happen. The goal of a turtle tap is to be annoying and cause minor discomfort; you’re not trying to destroy any potential future children. You have to choose your victim wisely. Some people don’t like getting smacked in the balls for a cheap laugh and some people get off on that sort of thing. A turtle tap can also be an effective weapon. The next time your little brother is annoying you give him a turtle tap and watch him shut the fuck up.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants