On June 29, 2017 my friend Josh passed away. I’ve dealt with death before. I’ve had grandparents die, friends from high school die, and pets die, but Josh’s passing hit me the most. He and his husband introduced me to my girlfriend and the four of us were supposed to grow old together. Instead Josh got sick and he was taken away from us. We were there when he went. We knew it was coming. We saw him go. I can’t describe the overwhelming rush of grief and devastation that washed over the room. It was crushing.
Josh had a lot of friends, so the lobby was full of people waiting and worrying about him. The people that couldn’t make it were calling and texting. I had to tell a lot of people that he was gone. I saw them break down and had to relive that terrible moment over and over again.
The next few hours were a blur, but time slogged on. Hours turned into days, days into weeks, weeks into months, and now somehow it’s been a whole year since he’s been gone. It still doesn’t make sense to me. I’ll never understand why. I’ve learned a few things. Death is never easy. There’s no such thing as closure. All you can do is cry and tell stories and remember, and that’s still not enough to fill the void in your heart. Josh was a great person. I hate talking about him in the past tense, but he’s still a big part of my life. I miss my friend. I miss Josh.
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young