I was hanging out with some friends last night and we ended up doing some spontaneous barhopping. We left one bar and headed towards another when we walked past a store without any windows but with an open door. My friend was intrigued and wanted to find out what kind of store it was, so we went in. It was a porn shop. My friends had never been in one before. Their eyes went wide and we began to walk around and look at the merchandise. They had all the things you would expect to find in a porn shop. They had a nice assortment of vibrators, dildos, and strap-ons. They had fuzzy handcuffs, whips, chains, and gag balls. They had artificial vaginas, buttholes, and mouths that you can stick your dick in. They had a massive DVD porn collection with every type of fetish video imaginable for sale.
It was actually a nice porn shop. It wasn’t seedy or anything. The clerks were pretty friendly and helpful. My friend had a long conversation with them about cock rings. They even had regular customers, including one old Chinese lady who they called by name. It was pretty great actually, the old Chinese lady told the clerks that she was only stopping in because she was doing laundry down the street. I’ve gone to the bar to kill time while doing laundry, I’ve never gone to a porn shop. That old Chinese lady has her priorities.
We ended up staying in the porn shop for half an hour, a pretty impressive feat because we were just walking by. We each ended up buying something because you can’t spend thirty minutes exploring a porn shop looking at everything without buying anything. I bought a few DVDs. They were on sale, three for ten bucks. I figure it’s good to have backup for when the internet is out. It’s funny, I can’t remember the last time I bought a DVD. One friend got a few DVDs as well. My other friend bought a cock ring based on the clerk’s advice. I hope he has fun with it. The best part of the porn shop experience was seeing the giant bottle of hand sanitizer on a table by the exit. You know we used it.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
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