A food fight is people throw food at each other instead of eating it. It’s a staple of physical comedy. There’s something oddly satisfying about seeing someone getting smashed in the face with a pie. There are a few types of food fights. There are Hollywood food fights and there are real food fight fights. A Hollywood food fight is pretty cliché. Two hot girls fight by pouring milkshakes over each other’s heads and down their dresses. The young protagonist stands up to the bully in the cafeteria and uses food instead of fists to settle a problem, then a random fat kid yells “FOOD FIGHT!” and everyone gets in on it.
Real food fights can be organized, like Spain’s annual La Tomatina festival where thousands of participants hurl hundreds of thousand tomatoes at each other, or they can be spontaneous. Sometimes the best way to settle a family argument is to throw a spoonful of mashed potatoes at your little sister. Of course if you flick the first spoonful you should expect two spoonfuls in return. Food fights are only fun when they escalate. And they are contagious so you have to be careful. It’s hard to see people fighting with food and not want to join in on the fun.
There’s nothing more American than fighting with food. There are starving kids in China, but fuck them and fuck you, I’d rather spit peas at people than eat them. If I want to waste food, I’m going to do it with style.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young