Sand Dollar

A sand dollar is a sea creature related to sea urchins, star fish, and sea cucumbers. They are basically round and flat sea urchins living in a “shell” with a star pattern on it. The shell is actually their skeleton, and when they die you find their hollowed body washed up on the beach. When you picture a sand dollar in your mind, you’re imagining the corpse of one. The dead sand dollar is the thing that the Flintstones use for currency. Yes, the thing you gave your girlfriend as a romantic gesture were skeletal remains. How sweet. They are often used as paperweights because there’s not too much you can do with them other than look at them. Sand dollars are one of those things that you think are interesting but you don’t think too much about. But they are pretty fascinating if you bother to do some basic research. If you have a sand dollar lying around, pick it up now. Go on, grab it. You got it in your hands now? Ok, perfect. Flip it over so that it’s upside down and put your finger on the hole in the center of the bottom. Is your finger on the hole now? If it’s not, put your finger directly on the hole. Do you know what that hole is? It’s the anus. I just made you finger a sand dollar’s butthole. Behold the power of the internet. Now go wash your hands.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young


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