Setting Off Your Own Car Alarm

It’s the middle of the night and you wake up from your deep slumber because there’s a car alarm blaring outside. You try to shut it out, but you can’t ignore it and you wonder whose fucking car alarm is going off and you wonder why that mother fucker isn’t doing anything about it. Then you realize that it’s your car and that you are that mother fucker. Setting off your own car alarm is one of the worst feelings in the world. You feel an instant pang of regret as something so mundane starts to backfire on you. It’s like when you flush the toilet and the water starts to rise. It’s not your fault, but everybody is going to blame you regardless. All you can do is apologize profusely but nobody will care. You’re the villain, you’re the asshole, and you have to accept that. You might not have meant to set it off, but you did, and you have to take responsibility for it. Hopefully you’re not taking responsibility at four in the morning.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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