Rubber bands are useful for a lot of things. They hold produce together. You can use them to seal up a plastic bag. You can make a rubber band ball. You can keep your hair out of your face. But the best thing to do is to shoot them at other people. You wrap it around your fingers and thumb, take aim, and let that fucker fly. Try to aim for the chest, because it sucks when you get someone in the eye. They get blinded and you feel bad for a few days. But shooting rubber bands at people is not something to ignore. You have to do it. It’s a compulsion, an obligation to weaponize mundane objects. It’s the American way.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
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