AT&T is the home of the San Francisco Giants and about a thousand fucking seagulls. The seagulls seem to have some sort of ESP because they always know when the game is almost over. It doesn’t matter if it’s a day game or a night game, or the first or last game of a home stand, they’ll always show up around the 7th or 8th inning. You’ll see one, than a few, than it’s suddenly like a Hitchcock movie and the sky is filled with the motherfuckers. They start flying around looking for food and shitting on people. It’s pretty nerve-wracking (not to mention distracting) and it makes you want to bring an umbrella for protection from aerial bombardments. The seagulls can even sense extra innings somehow. It’s kind of amazing how aware they can be. I love everything about AT&T Park, it’s one of the best stadiums in the world but the seagulls are definitely a nuisance. You can’t enjoy the game if you’re worried about being shat on. Maybe they can have a BB gun giveaway and solve the problem once and for all.
Critically Rated at 7/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
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