A turtle tap is when someone lightly slaps your junk, usually while you’re wearing pants but naked turtle taps have been known to happen. The goal of a turtle tap is to be annoying and cause minor discomfort; you’re not trying to destroy any potential future children. You have to choose your victim wisely. Some people don’t like getting smacked in the balls for a cheap laugh and some people get off on that sort of thing. A turtle tap can also be an effective weapon. The next time your little brother is annoying you give him a turtle tap and watch him shut the fuck up.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
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