Tag Archives: point

January 4, 2013 · 11:37 am

Laser Pointers

Laser pointers were the shit when I was ten. I thought that owning a portable red dot would make my life complete. I thought of all the possibilities it would provide me, of all the things that I could point at, of all the movies I could ruin and classes I could disrupt. And then I got one. And I pointed it at things like my friend’s face and my neighbor’s house. And I realized that you could get in trouble for blinding your friend and scaring your neighbors. Laser pointers weren’t as much fun after that. Until the green ones came out when I was a teenager and I thought that owning a portable green dot would make my life complete…

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 16, 2012 · 10:31 am

A Pencil Sharpener That Doesn’t Sharpen

People use pencils because people make mistakes. You can simply erase away all evidence of your terrible spelling. The best kind of pencil is a sharpened pencil. Nobody likes a dull pencil, that’s boring (possibly the most clever pun of all time).  The best way to get a sharp pencil is to use a pencil sharpener (or a mechanical pencil, but that’s beside the point. Damn, there’s another pun). There are some shoddy pencil sharpeners out there. You stick in the pencil, you twist it, it looks ok, but then the tip breaks off as soon as you put pressure on it. A pencil sharpener that doesn’t sharpen is the definition of uselessness. Your pencil will just keep getting shorter and shorter as you grind away, struggling majestically to obtain a perfect tip that will never be.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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