It’s baseball season and I love every minute of it, so I’m warning you now that I’ll be writing a bunch of shit about baseball for the next few months. Today’s baseball topic is bringing a glove to the game. Bringing a glove to the game means that you are either really optimistic or six-years-old. I’ve been to over two hundred baseball games in my life and have never caught a ball. I’ve had three major chances, and I would have caught them if I had my glove. I’ve only brought my glove to a few games. One time I was sitting in premium foul ball territory right along the third baseline, so I made sure to bring it. Not a single foul ball came anywhere in the vicinity of me and I almost left my glove at the bar after the game. Wearing a glove is only acceptable at the game, you look like a tool anywhere outside of the stadium. It’s a Catch-22, you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. I might never catch a foul ball, but one time I saw a guy get smashed in the face with a loose bat. That almost makes up for it. I just want to catch one ball in my life. I don’t even want to keep the ball. I want to catch it, have my five seconds of glory, and then give it to a little kid nearby. He’ll treasure it more than I would. Unless he throws it back.
Critically Rated at 12/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young